Motorboat
by Im a Doctor Not a Writer
Summary: Just a little humorous two-shot. Its mostly fluff and nonsense for now. J/V Implied. Slash. Second chapter gets more serious.
1. Never Invited

Ch. 1: Never Invited

**Ok so this is a brief little two-shot that I thought was really cute. J/V is always implied, and poor Melanie always gets left behind. This is her way of having some fun too. (Will be later rated different for the next chapter. :] ) **

…

12:32 AM

…

"Oh my god, you guys never invite me to anything!" Melanie cried, as she watched Joy search for the perfect pair of heels. Her and Victoria were going somewhere and couldn't bring Melanie along for…whatever reason.

"Listen, Mel I'll explain everything later, but we are running very late!" Joy ushered Melanie out of her room, and nearly slammed the door in her face so she could finally get dressed in peace.

"Fine, I'll see if Elka wants to do anyth…" Melanie began.

"Forget it doll face, I got a date!" shouted Elka from the living room as she was tying her orthopedic shoe.

"Well damn, I have nothing to do tonight! It really sucks that I don't have a gbff to hang out with!" Melanie began to sulk and plopped her pajama-clad self on the sofa, and began to flip through a stray magazine that was on the coffee table.

Victoria then came into the room putting on her favorite earrings, and jokingly stated, "Well, what about that Haley Nash?" Melanie shot Victoria an evil look, and then actually took a moment to think about whether or not she still had Haley's number…

"Joy, will you come on? I'm growing a beard waiting on you!" Victoria shouted from the bottom of the stairs, checking her watch to see how late they were.

Joy and Victoria were going to an after-party for the Grammy's, they had been invited by one of Elka's celebrity friends, and they were told specifically NOT to bring Melanie just in case Haley Nash showed up.

Joy finally came down the stairs in a gorgeous navy blue mini dress and heels, elongating her already long legs nicely, as well as accentuating her breasts, and making her eyes pop. "Victoria, if I had known you were going to wear something more formal I would have too! Oh, God now I have to go change!" She shouted in horror, and began to go back up the stairs to change.

"No, Joy you look fine! You look positively gorgeous! Please let's just go!" Victoria shouted back, grabbing her clutch. She was wearing a pink halter dress that went right past her knees and clung to her every curve, along with her favorite Italian heels, and her favorite earrings.

Joy fumbled down the stairs, looking for the clutch she had set out earlier, and after five minutes of looking finally found it. As they proceeded out the house, Elka shouted from the kitchen, "You both look like hookers!"

Victoria paid no attention, and Joy merely rolled her eyes as they walked out the door, saying in unison, "And, we're off!"

Not ten minutes later, Elka left, clad in her leopard print track suit, which had been bedazzled to the nines, and her best orthopedic shoes, and smiled when her date arrived. The doorbell rang, and Melanie answered the door, and was rather surprised to find who Elka's date was for the evening. It was the guy Joy had been set up with a few weeks ago. "Hey, you're the guy who does the great impressions! Are you here for Elka?"

"Why uh, why yes I am!" The man said in his best Robin Williams voice. They laughed for a moment, and Elka came to the door. "Elka, you ready? I'm gonna make you a dinner you can't refuse." The man smiled at the older woman, and escorted her out of the house.

"Have a great time you two!" Melanie said as she closed the door behind them. _Now where is that phone number?_ She thought to herself.

…

4:45 AM

…

Victoria strutted in the house with bare feet, her heels in hand, along with the arm of a drunken Joy. The lights were on, and Melanie was on the couch, watching some late night infomercial on bras nobody would ever buy.

"What ARE you watching?" Joy asked, as she stumbled her way to the couch. Melanie sat up, and replied, "Oh nothing really. I was just waiting on you two. How was it…whatever you went to?" Victoria came and sat down between Joy and Melanie, spreading her arms out behind both of them. "We had a blast!" said Victoria, as she proclaimed to have looked the best out of everybody the whole evening.

After a few minutes of listening to Victoria's gloating and growing bored, Joy interrupted Victoria, and asked Melanie, "How did you end up spending your evening without us?"

Melanie had been somewhere in outer space, and it took her a minute to respond to Joy's question. "Oh, oh um I uh…I called Haley Nash!" Both women's jaw dropped as they listened intently to Melanie.

"Yeah, she uh…She came over and we watched a movie, ate some popcorn, shared a bottle of wine…" Melanie began.

"Oh get to the good parts!" Joy then added, a little louder than she had hoped. Melanie smiled and continued her story, finishing with an ultimate jaw-dropper. "Then, half way through the movie we just got bored and started making out." Then, Melanie got up and headed up the stairs, her fuzzy slippers making an almost sticky noise as she headed up to her bedroom. "I'm off to bed! Good night!" She continued her grin the whole way to her room, and shut the door.

The other two women sat on the sofa still in shock, then looked at each other and smiled. They grabbed each other's hand, and Victoria leaned on Joy's chest, who had now stretched out on the sofa. "Should we tell her?" Victoria asked, looking at her and Joy's interlocked fingers. "No love. Let's wait and tell her later, like in the morning." Joy then gave Victoria a quick peck on the lips, and the two women fell asleep together.

**Chapter 2 comes later! See what happens when Elka comes home! (No, she hasn't come home yet.)**


	2. Not Now

Not Now

**Ok so I lied about the whole getting serious thing…This is just some more fun, implied J/V and Elka comes home to find just a plain ol' mess. You can easily figure out what the title is about too. :]**

… 9:46 AM …

Elka walked in the front door with a bright smile on her face, which rather quickly turned into a frown as she saw two long and scrawny figures lying on top of one another, Joy's long hair covering her face, and Victoria's arms being strewn all over the couch didn't help matters either. After a taking a picture and finally realizing who it was, Elka shouted at the top of her lungs. "Oh my God! What did you two have to drink last night?"

That alone was enough to wake the dead, (and the whole neighborhood) and it sent Victoria jumping about a foot in the air, and landing back on top of Joy who was trying to figure out where the hell she was, and had to force a grunt when she felt Victoria's elbow land on her ribs, along with her knee on her thigh. "That's going to hurt in the morning!" She shouted, trying to lazily straighten herself and Victoria up.

"Seriously, what time did you girls go to bed…or even get home?" Elka questioned the two women. She stepped into the kitchen for a moment and came back out with a coffee mug in her hand. Joy was the first to come to her senses, and managed to peel Victoria off of her, and instantly wanted her back as soon as she realized how cold it was in the house. Still, she sat up, her long legs somewhat trapping Victoria on the couch. "I think we made it back somewhere around 5…wait…where have you been Elka?"

"Now's not the time for that." Elka shouted from the kitchen, "Now is coffee time! They sure need it." She said the last part to herself, and walked back into the living room, handing one mug to Joy, and the other to Victoria, who was still trying to figure out why she was on the couch with Joy's legs entangled around her.

Then, Melanie came down the stairs, missing a slipper, and her glasses on top of her head, which was also a complete and total mess. "What's the shouting for? I was having this amazing dream that Haley N…Elka when did you get home?"

"Just now. What's up with these two hookers sleeping on top of each other on the couch? Don't they know they have a bed, or were they just too hammered to realize that when they came home this morning?" Elka asked as she handed Melanie a cup of coffee. Melanie took a sip of the black liquid, not realizing there was anything in it, and made a horrid face as she swallowed the bitter drink. "Elka! You couldn't add anything to it?" She made her way to the armchair, and cocked her head to the side when she saw the sight before her.

Joy was sitting on the couch with one leg stretched out over Victoria and the other trying to work its way above Victoria's head, all while trying to not spill her coffee, or Victoria's. Victoria on the other hand, was trying scoot back on the other side of the couch while holding onto Joy's outstretched leg, and using her other hand to fluff a throw pillow so she could rest her back on it.

"Are you two okay?" Melanie asked, trying hard not to laugh at the pitiful sight. "Not now Melanie" came the first response from the two women, who after moments of just getting untangled, managed to get the lower zipper of Victoria's dress caught on the hem of Joy's dress, and failing at every attempt to get it unstuck.

"Might I try and help?" Melanie asked, scooting to the edge of the chair and placing her coffee mug down on the table. "No, Melanie. I think we've got it…nope. Victoria darling, I am afraid we are going to have to strip." Joy gave Victoria a stern look, and all she received was a twinkle from the other woman's eye.

"Well I certainly am not letting Rick have a peek at anything down here. Come on Joy, we'll go up to my room and…fix this situation." Victoria looked frustrated, but at the same time she smiled, because she knew how they had gotten each other into this mess in the first place. The two women slowly made their way across the living room and up the stairs, still at a loss of how to get the zipper unstuck from Joy's dress.

Melanie decided to go help Elka with breakfast, who kicked her out of the kitchen after 10 minutes because she under cooked the bacon, and burnt the toast. Melanie decided to relax, and flipped on the television, and began channel surfing. Suddenly, she heard a bump, and then a loud THUD come from upstairs, so she shouted to the girls upstairs, "Everything alright up there? You want me to come up there and help?" Victoria giggled, and Joy shushed her.

"Not now, I think we almost got it!" Joy shouted back, she was smiling and stifling a giggle, and when she didn't hear a response from Melanie, she began attacking Victoria's bare neck again, and picked her up from the dresser to move her to the bed, and knocked over a trashcan, and a jewelry box along the way.

Whenever she finished with breakfast, Elka came back into the living room with flour all over her face and track suit, the smell of bacon thick in the air. Melanie looked at Elka with a quirky look, and Elka responded, "It's flour, I swear! Oh, and breakfast ready. Call the two hookers for me."

"Joy, Victoria! Breakfast is ready!" Melanie shouted from the bottom of the stairs, getting only a "We'll…be down…in just a…minute" but she wasn't really sure who it came from. Melanie shrugged her shoulders and went into the kitchen, and as she went to grab a piece of bacon from the table her hand was slapped with a spatula by Elka. "I told you to get the hookers for me. Now go get them, because we can't eat without them."

Suddenly, Melanie heard a loud shout come from upstairs, and she ran up to see what was going on, and just as she opened the door, she saw one Joy go limp as she fell on top of Victoria who seemed to be just about passed out asleep. Melanie smiled because she knew what the noise was, and she blushed when she saw both women had collapsed on the bed completely nude.

She went downstairs to the kitchen, and just looked at Elka. "I thought I told you…" Elka began, but Melanie interrupted her. "Not now Elka. They are resting. Just, not now."

**The endz. (I love reviews too!)**


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